he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
