she woke up with a sticky ear
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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