I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
