okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize