mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
