I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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