Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize