there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
