i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
