Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
