He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
