My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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