She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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