If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
