Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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