Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
