he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
