hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
