We won't sleep together?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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