i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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