I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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