I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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