I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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