everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
