Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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