that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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