Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize