genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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