He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
