My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
