quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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