What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
