LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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