Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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