Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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