My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
