I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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