You just made me feel so damn special
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
