I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
