singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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