What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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