Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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