He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
