My first STD was from a foam party
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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