You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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