Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
FUCK WHALES
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
