I've blown a few things in my day
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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