I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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