Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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