My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
