Christians are straight up FREAKS
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
