my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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