you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
