Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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