I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize