Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
