I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My pussy is not your playground.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
