ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
