My nipple is on Facebook.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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