Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
