i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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