Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
