the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
