I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize