is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
