I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
