I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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