I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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