shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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