i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
