You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize