I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
